High alert: Secret Service protects President Choom Gang from titanic joint

Brett T. | 10:53 PM on April 02, 2016

Barack Obama, who worked his way up from just another member of the “Choom Gang” to the highest office in the land, has managed to serve seven years with no apparent comprehension of either red lines or deadlines. (Free community college, anyone?)

He has made good on his criminal justice reform initiative, though, this week commuting the sentences of 61 more inmates, “most” jailed on drug charges. He also made a “surprise” appearance at a White House meeting of former prisoners, a photo from which is now featured prominently at the top of the White House website, and then treated them to lunch at a local restaurant.

While the president is dedicated to emptying the prisons of nonviolent drug offenders, marijuana legalization protesters stopped by the White House today to convince the government to skip the whole catch-and-release routine.

Marijuana protest at LaFayette starting to form. People want it off Schedule 1 drug crime list. pic.twitter.com/arMTPyUTyB

— Tom Sherwood (@tomsherwood) April 2, 2016

Marijuana legalization protest outside the White House pic.twitter.com/Bfd6SmTkQr

— CJ Ciaramella (@cjciaramella) April 2, 2016

The president must not have been home, or else he certainly would have called off the Secret Service agents who drew a red line between the White House and this giant joint.

Secret Service snuffs giant cannabis joint at White House https://t.co/gRO14tlybI via @DCExaminer #rescheduleMJ pic.twitter.com/3rb92mEas3

— Daniel Chaitin (@danielchaitin7) April 2, 2016

That’s a lot of police officers. Kind of ironic, considering Baltimore mayoral candidate, #BlackLivesMatter activist, and Campaign Zero chair DeRay Mckesson has been busy at the White House helping shape criminal justice reform. Campaign Zero calls for communities to decriminalize or “de-prioritize” the enforcement of marijuana possession. In other words, police should look the other way, even if possession remains illegal.

He has no chance of winning his campaign, but if he did, Baltimore’s police department would be under Mckesson’s leadership. Toke on that for a minute.