We see some pretty amazing feats of journalism here at Twitchy. Not a day goes by that we don't cover some attempt by the legacy media to gaslight and just plain lie to the American public.
But every once in a while, we see a piece of 'journalisming' so breathtaking, we simply have to sit back and stare at it in awe and wonderment. It's like the scene in the movie Contact, where Jodie Foster's character simply cannot believe what her eyes are beholding:
Dear Twitchy readers, that was our reaction last night when we saw what Politico had written in an article describing the political fallout from Joe Biden's train-wreck performance in the presidential debate on Thursday.
Gaze upon the following:
Behold, the most remarkable sentence in the annals of polling. pic.twitter.com/v5LhRIYYEj
— Mark Hemingway (@Heminator) June 30, 2024
Read that again: 'President Biden was hurt badly by the debate, but Donald Trump didn’t benefit on any measure, except the vote.'
We'll give you a minute to gather yourself ... and pick your jaw up off of the floor.
The full Politico article -- in fairness -- does not pull any punches in describing how badly Biden performed. But the phrasing in this section, from a YouGovBlue survey of Democrat-leaning voters, is simply fantastic. The people surveyed were two-thirds in favor of Biden before the debate. Afterward, Biden left with barely half of them still committed to him.
We suppose that the credit for the paragraph above really should go to YouGovBlue. But Politico selected that exact phrase -- and none other from the survey -- for its article. THAT is the highlight they wanted to include.
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This has to be the Holy Grail of polling denial.
— Free Speech is a Minority Right (@IDLKAAA) June 30, 2024
As in De… https://t.co/2igrR27jmC pic.twitter.com/Y1Z1fKLgQJ
Indiana Jones is staring at it in awe, like a forbidden idol.
All time classic. https://t.co/tuOnZxnUdO
— Laura Arth (@LauraEAVA) June 30, 2024
First-ballot Hall of Famer.
I read that three or four times because I figured I HAD to be missing something.
— Passably Affable (@tbrusletten) June 30, 2024
Nope. You weren't missing anything. They really said it.
Reminds me of old joke. Guy jumps off 20th floor of building. As he passes 18th floor someone leans out and asks, "how's it going?" Answer: "so far, so good."
— Isaac Seliger (@SeligerGrants) June 30, 2024
The joke is a classic for a reason. We just didn't think Politico would try to live it out.
And then the hilarious analogies from Twitter began to pour in.
Other than the total overrun of the complete German Atlantic Wall on June 6th, German High Command says it was just another day at the beach for the German Army.
— Veni! Vidi! Memi! (@venividimemi) June 30, 2024
"On most measure, including the quality of his private balcony and the food and drink he was offered, Mr. Lincoln's night at the theater went splendidly." https://t.co/gCmQLAsOJR
— Jesse Singal (@jessesingal) June 30, 2024
When you take home the crown but not Miss Congeniality. https://t.co/V5hcfez5FD
— Anna James Zeigler (@ajzeigler) June 30, 2024
This is the political equivalent of “Yeah we lost but we gained more yards than them and had more first downs” https://t.co/R5huvDolwC
— Tucker Martin (@jtuckermartin) June 30, 2024
The Chiefs didn't benefit from their quarterback in the Superbowl...except for all the touchdowns. https://t.co/xvh40AUbeI
— Andrew Follett (@AndrewCFollett) June 30, 2024
This is up there with that study showing the NHS doing well in every aspect of healthcare system qualities except patient outcomes. https://t.co/JNotuS6Vat
— James 🦀 #FullPayRestoration (@pjamestheleast) June 30, 2024
OUCH on that analogy.
The endless mocking comparisons all boil down to one truth: 'The vote' is THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS.
“Except the vote” 🧐 https://t.co/4BtoD2UmmX
— Just Curious (@shelley_curious) June 30, 2024
https://t.co/zE3d7d3aIZ pic.twitter.com/Vkm3EWuYvn
— Sean Bannion (@SeanBannion) June 30, 2024
We feel you, Charlie. Our brains hurt too.
Someone actually got paid to write that.
— Scott Pullins (@scottpullins) June 30, 2024
The author of the article, Jared Mitovich, is listed as 'an intern at Politico.' So, maybe he didn't get paid?
Please tell us he didn't get paid.
Astonishing pic.twitter.com/PDZElIrIjA
— Wafflemonger and The Toad (@CBrewer) June 30, 2024
Saving this one forever 😂
— Doc MumblePOTUS (@raccoonrocket_) June 30, 2024
“Nah guys don’t worry Trump didn’t benefit from the debate in any way EXCEPT FOR PEOPLE WANTING TO VOTE FOR HIM” https://t.co/3S8LOKjoyD
That is the dumbest of sentences in the history of sentences.
— Couldn't Be Papa P (@CouldntBePapaP) June 30, 2024
We would like to apologize to the English language for the violence that was inflicted upon it by that sentence.
— Philip Reichert (@PhilipReichert) June 30, 2024
LOL. The paragraph from Politico was exactly like the moment in the debate where Trump said to Jake Tapper, 'I really don’t know what he said ... I don’t think he knows what he said either.'
They are in the bargaining phase. https://t.co/4ulbPRCIbv
— Bill Zeiser (@BillZeiser) June 30, 2024
The depression phase is going to be off the chain.
Wait, wut? https://t.co/N3sM8tYm6w
— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) June 30, 2024
Don't try to make sense of it. Just bask in its glory.
In fact, it is selfish of us to want to keep this screenshot all to ourselves. It needs to be shared with the world. It should be framed and given a place of honor in the Smithsonian so future generations can appreciate the wonder of America's 21st-century mainstream media as much as we do.
Just make sure to put it behind glass so climate alarmists don't throw soup on it.
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