The resistance is here. And whoo, boy, is it stupid.
Up in the ugly and smelly Pacific Northwest, where armpit hair goes to thrive, the brave freedom fighters in Portland have come up with an ingenious new tactic to try to keep ICE from enforcing the law:
Gross them out so much that they want to pour bleach into their own eyes.
Yes, according to local news reports, Portland leftists are planning to bare all in protest with an 'emergency' world naked bike ride -- as opposed to the regular ones that they have there to showcase their 'pride' (not to mention showcasing their junk to children).
We only wish we were making this up.
🚨 Radical leftist activists are preparing a naked bike ride protest in Portland. This comes as a reaction to President Trump’s decision to deploy the National Guard in the city, aimed at safeguarding ICE and the detention center for undocumented migrants. Such an unusual form of… pic.twitter.com/rF4yTNNsMZ
— Crazy flix (@Crazyflix94) October 3, 2025
We're not sure what day this event is planned for yet, but we know one thing. That will be a terrible day to have eyes.
(Also, how is it a 'world' naked bike ride when it is only happening in one miserable blue city?)
Needless to say, we were not alone in our revulsion to this latest fresh Hell from the left.
Forget the bear spray. Get the Icy/Hot and a super soaker.
— TheSkepticalProthean (@IncelScholar) October 3, 2025
LOL.
Modern -- and repugnantly weird -- problems require modern solutions.
Gotta love how these minds think.
— Crocket (@CrocketOfFL) October 3, 2025
“We need to change the president’s course of action! “
“I know let’s ride naked on bicycles!”
“Great idea!”
🤣🤣
Recommended
It's a foolproof plan ... if their objective is making the President, ICE agents, and the rest of America throw up.
Ah yes, another sexualized protest, that’ll influence people to see their perspective
— Dr. Matthimus Coleus (@mchmr96) October 3, 2025
It might influence the Trump administration to build a wall around Portland ... and make Phil Knight pay for it.
I can only imagine what that's going to smell like.
— John Galt (@WesSnyder1973) October 3, 2025
It will be an unholy olfactory mix of pot, patchouli, cat urine, and desperation.
If you live in or near Portland… don’t buy a used bike.
— (((Aaron Walker))) (@AaronWorthing) October 3, 2025
And if you do, use disinfectant. Lots and lots of disinfectant.
And maybe hot water too, for good measure
Or at least replace the seat. https://t.co/ydCx6UZrNb
We'd recommend a flamethrower, but maybe that's just us.
The stench of their bike seat afterwards 🤢
— BreakNeck (@breakkneck) October 3, 2025
Forever unclean!
Line the streets with water canon's, at least that way the will get a bit of a wash, the filth!
— Men Called Uncle (@MenCalled) October 3, 2025
If ICE merely brandishes bars of soap, the protesters are likely to flee, screaming.
In fact, we'd kind of like to see their reaction if federal agents sprinkled them with Holy Water.
Does Portland deserve saving?
— SamFromSC Positive Joy😬🦮🇺🇸❤️ (@SamFromSC) October 3, 2025
We're going to assume that's a rhetorical question.
Leftists are insane!
— Barbara (@bat52301) October 3, 2025
A Captain Obvious statement if there ever was one, but it deserves saying anyway.
That's just so they can say- family friendly bring your kids to see us naked.
— Itto-Ahh-sooo (@itto13bitty) October 3, 2025
Undoubtedly.
There's nothing leftists love more than vulgar displays of sexuality in front of children.
Someone sneak into the staging area with a tool kit. pic.twitter.com/M20sfXyr5x
— TheSaturnV (@saturn91984) October 3, 2025
HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA.
Great idea ... if we weren't certain that some of them would enjoy that.
DHS could do the funniest thing with pepper balls 😂
— PNWxNobody (@PNWxNOBODY) October 3, 2025
True, but we suspect many of them already have a 'burning sensation' down there.
Our poor law enforcement officers! pic.twitter.com/kasMalf1vf
— LP (@ladp216) October 3, 2025
President Trump and Kristi Noem should give them all hazard pay bonuses.
— Rex 'Legio MAGA' Mundi (@rexmundictrl) October 3, 2025
Ewwwwww!!!
— Chris (@HelmerChris) October 3, 2025
🤢 pic.twitter.com/AiN37pKGh1
— Krull, Warrior King (@DanDeBlaay) October 3, 2025
Somehow, we don't think the people who will be participating look good even in a swimsuit, let alone their birthday suits.
I guarantee they are people you don't want to see naked.
— Plupples63 (@plupples63) October 3, 2025
Call it a hunch.
This is just cruel and unusual.
— 🟢 ⚪ 🟣 ⚫ Mayor of Cat Party City 🇺🇸 (@ChrisHugh14) October 3, 2025
For everyone unfortunate enough to witness it, yes.
The degenerate nature of the planned protest is matched, of course, only by its futility.
Do they imagine that somewhere someone will say, " I saw that naked bike ride protest and it changed my mind about everything?"
— Susan Andersen (@SusanAn83221007) October 3, 2025
Honestly, we have no idea what these people imagine in their broken brains.
Frankly, we don't really want to know.
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