'The Choom Gang is laughing': TPM's Ted Cruz scoop met with zero shockery, whole lotta mockery

Brace yourselves, guys. This is a big one:

Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 http://t.co/HBgpghzxzv

— Talking Points Memo (@TPM) January 14, 2015

Quelle horreur!

To the fainting couch!
RT "@lheal: RT @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 pic.twitter.com/WEuuavH0Bv”

— aThirdOfDuane (@aThirdOfDuane) January 14, 2015

https://twitter.com/ThisIsJoshSmith/status/555472289660407808

https://twitter.com/lachlan/status/555472481927323648

O! M! G! To the chair with him! RT @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 http://t.co/yGCxzhvTfI”

— Kevin Corrigan AKA “Corn Pop” (@kcluva) January 14, 2015

BURN HIM AT THE STAKE RT @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 http://t.co/RAbbJE1IIY

— Ashe Schow (@AsheSchow) January 14, 2015

@RobProvince @TPM Off with his head!!!

— Dr. Ramirez ?? ??? (@cybr_gk) January 14, 2015

With all due respect to TPM — and there isn’t much — that’s all you’ve got?

https://twitter.com/MattCover/status/555474906927091713

Quite the scoop, Cronkite. MT @TPM Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 http://t.co/OWCEY5Tcvq

— jon gabriel (@exjon) January 14, 2015

@TPM That's the best you could come up with?

— Meggie G? (@Ohcomeonnow) January 14, 2015

https://twitter.com/michi83/status/555470764166877184

@DLoesch @TPM Um someone actually thinks this is worthy of anyones time? Unreal.

— Rick (@shershot99) January 14, 2015

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Grateful Calvin

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@DLoesch @TPM Please, give us a break

— Lloyd Stanley (@llystnly) January 14, 2015

@lachlan @TPM Oh boy. Reaching.

— Kathleen McKinley (@KatMcKinley) January 14, 2015

https://twitter.com/steveatmguy/status/555472526697299969

@GTMAC21 @ThisIsJoshSmith @TPM Is that the biggest dirt they can get? I'll take my chances.

— JT (@Jaberuski) January 14, 2015

https://twitter.com/siftyboones/status/555472444270866432

Well, we know how Obama spent his …

https://twitter.com/TFCochran/status/555472635874660353

@DrewMTips @TPM Given the admitted past drug use of their Savior in Chief, what the hell is the possible angle, here?

— Chris Hynes (@realchrishynes) January 14, 2015

He's got nothing on President Choom Gang. RT @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 http://t.co/Lhw0WI1V6N

— Sarah (@mamaswati) January 14, 2015

Obama smoked weed, snorted coke @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 http://t.co/VwNNK1NwZA

— Harriet Baldwin ?? (@HarrietBaldwin) January 14, 2015

RT @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987 pic.twitter.com/DCsZG8KMRP

— Area Man (@lheal) January 14, 2015

And Obama did cocaine. What's your point? RT @TPM: Ted Cruz was ticketed for alcohol possession as a minor in 1987

— Drew McCoy (@_Drew_McCoy_) January 14, 2015

@DLoesch The president did coke. Dumbest @TPM headline ever.

— Breeanne Walters (@breeannewalters) January 14, 2015

@breeannehowe @DLoesch @TPM @joshtpm http://t.co/P0FctOljTZ

— (((L.N. Smithee))) (@LNSmithee) January 14, 2015

.@BarackObama snorted cocaine, but hey, Ted Cruz had a sixer of beer in his car or something.

— Mike (@ThePantau) January 14, 2015

Only a matter of time before TPM digs up more skeletons from Cruz’s closet …

@DLoesch @TPM Ill bet he had pimples too…OH NO!!!

— Mike Rawley (@mstrmort1) January 14, 2015

@exjon @TPM There were actually 100 red balloons until Ted Cruz popped one.

— CCD (@ConwayCD) January 14, 2015

https://twitter.com/OpiningPenguin/status/555472720419627008

https://twitter.com/Red_Eye_Robot/status/555471169449500672

@CounslrObvious @TPM
If we find out that he was out past curfew, it'll all be over.

— aThirdOfDuane (@aThirdOfDuane) January 14, 2015